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bad days

Thu Feb 23, 2006, 9:26 AM
The mirror is my worst enemy. I am a vain, worthless, self-obsessed freak of nature. The only time I feel human or like it's even worth being alive is when I'm with Corey... I love you so much..
but any other time it's like I am sinking deeper and deeper still into my little empty hole where no one can see me. I'm so numb and lifeless that sometimes I forget who or what I am.. just lost in my own made up reality, where I can see and hear nothing but the images and chords in my mind. Where I can cry and break down and no one can hear me.. I am invisible and that is how it should be.
If I had one wish it would be to feel my own beauty, inside and out, and be able to live happily with that. Unfortunately as more and more days go by, months, years, I feel it growing and worsening, like I'm cursed to be forever unhappy.
Then there are those of you that seem to relate and actually listen, unlike most.
I'd like to thank for being here for me.. :heart:

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I think everyone has days like that. A loathesome self depricating exhistance where they doubt everything that they ever believe and start questioning every thought they ever had. I've learned that over time if you find that you can't sit alone and contemplate things and know who you are or find contentment with yourself then maybe there is something more that you need to find out about yourself. I spent quite a long time finding out exactly who I was and I can't be sure I even know who I am. I really believe in things that maybe I shouldn't but the fact is I believe in them.. One of them is I believe we aren't meant to completely discover who we are and never will because everything changes from day to day. There will always be some small change even if we don't realize it. Just take time to reflect on who you are even if its just for half an hour a day. I'll always listen and give my best thoughts on the matter or just listen if you think I ramble too much.

--
This world is full of beauty both savage and delicate. It's alluring and detestful at the same time. I hate this life but I love the beauty it gives me. As long as I find beauty in everything surviving is an insatiable craving
:hug: I'm sorry, Jasmine..I hope that I can help you, even if it's just a little bit. :cling: Love you bunches, and I'll be here for you.
im sorry to hear that i hope you feel btter times liek those are hard to get through but there best when someoen is there to help

--
dryer sheets pwn febreeze its that simple.

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